Modeling Repentance and Forgiveness
Question: When you’ve done or said something wrong to someone, how quick are you to confess or ask for forgiveness?
To me, this is a litmus test for our hearts and our true understanding of confession and repentance before God. If I’m quick to make corrections in my relationships here on earth—with the people closest to me—I’m probably also quick to come to God with a heart posture of repentance.
But if forgiveness and repentance are harder for me in the flesh, with the people around me, then no matter how quickly I come to God, my heart posture might lean more toward mysticism about God rather than true relationship with Him.
Here’s what I mean: if it’s difficult to pursue confession and forgiveness with someone who isn’t God—someone who doesn’t hold eternal sway over us—then what’s really driving me when I come to God? Do I confess because I expect Him to forgive me automatically, without the weight of true accountability?
Here’s my confession: I’m in both camps. With adult relationships, I’m slower. I eventually get there, but the likelihood of someone withholding forgiveness—or creating emotional distance—often regulates my speed. With my kids, though, I’m very quick to confess, talk, and ask for forgiveness. Why? They’re young, and I can almost count on their forgiveness.
But when it’s someone who could hold back forgiveness or even create distance between us, my speed to confession and forgiveness slows down.
How quick are you to bring your repentance to God?
In 1 John 1:9, God places great importance on confession:
“If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”
We often reduce repentance to “I’m really, really sorry.” And while repentance is between us and God, confession adds a powerful layer of accountability:
James 5:16 – “Confess your sins one to another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.”
Here’s why it feels like a “cheat code”: when we expose sin to the light through confession, freedom comes. Quiet confession and repentance before God are essential—but having a brother or sister in Christ to confess to and walk with in accountability brings a deeper level of healing and freedom.
I have a dear friend who holds all my confessions. I trust him completely to honor my words as I honor his, no matter what comes out. Together, we hold each other accountable to Scripture, our pursuit of righteousness, and healthy boundaries. We’re honest even when it’s painful, and we show each other the same mercy and grace God shows us—helping each other rise again without “resetting.” We simply run straight back to the Father with repentance. No self-deprecation. No avoidance. Just full surrender and acceptance of whatever consequences may come, knowing God truly has good for us.
Psalm 51:10–12 (AMP) – “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right and steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.”
David wrote this after Nathan confronted him about his sin with Bathsheba and Uriah (2 Samuel 12). It’s a raw prayer of repentance, asking for forgiveness, renewal, and restored fellowship with God.
Coming to God with speed—confession and repentance—is key to a life lived in freedom. Hiding only leads to destruction. Releasing through confession and repentance sets us free.
One of my favorite pastors, Preston Morrison, shares an incredible perspective on repentance in his podcast The Leader’s Cut, particularly in the episode “Real-Time Repentance.” Here’s his guide to what this looks like:
✅ 1. Get God’s perspective on your sin
Pause and see your sin as God does—not just as a mistake but as something that grieves His Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). Feel its weight and how it creates distance between you and Him.
✅ 2. Confess your sin out loud
Say specifically what you did and when: “Lord, I confess I sinned when I ___.” Naming it breaks its hold and starts closing the gap between you and God (1 John 1:9).
✅ 3. Ask for forgiveness and feel His cleansing
Pray, “Lord, forgive me. Wash me clean.” Receive His forgiveness deeply, believing He removes your sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 51:1–2).
✅ 4. Burn it down (destroy the place of sin)
Resolve in your heart never to revisit it. Preston calls this “burning the house down”—eliminating the access point to your sin (Colossians 3:5).
✅ 5. Ask the Holy Spirit to change you
Invite Him to reshape your desires so you don’t just stop the behavior but start becoming more like Jesus (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
✅ 6. Walk in the opposite direction
Turn fully from the sin and prove your repentance by how you live (Matthew 3:8). Flee temptation and make choices that align with your renewed heart (1 Corinthians 6:18).
This should be our goal as believers: do whatever it takes to close the gap between us and our Father. Confess. Repent. Accept His grace. Move forward—no matter what.
How quick am I to confess and seek forgiveness from people around me, and what does that reveal about my heart toward God?
Do I view repentance as a relational act of returning to God’s presence or just a ritual of saying “I’m sorry”?
Who in my life could I trust with my confessions to bring my sin into the light and find accountability (James 5:16)?
What “houses of sin” in my life do I need to “burn down” to prevent returning to old patterns?
How can I make real-time repentance a habit, so I close the gap with God quickly when I fall?